Recently I read this mother’s very touching words:
“My child is very loved, but as a mother I get drained from the fight. I fight for him daily to be the best he can be. Autism isn’t all sunshine, rainbows and unicorns. It’s rough and I have no doubt we will make it. I am his N1 supporter.”
Every time I come across a message similar to this, my heart beats a little bit faster! I really feel for these mothers who are trying their best, day and night, to support their children. This is never an easy process, but when your child has autism, it is much, much more challenging. And it is even more demanding if the parent in question has more than one child! It is a tough position to be in and not all parents are able to handle such circumstances. In many cases, mothers go through everything completely alone, accumulating exhaustion, tremendous stress and chronic fatigue while trying to be, and do, their best for their dearest child.
The short message from the mother above is a very good example of what many other mothers experience in such situations: a love for their child, dedication, exhaustion, jealousy, sadness, some hope and a little despair. Jealousy and sadness, because she keeps asking herself “why was my child chosen to be autistic?” Despair, because she is her child’s only supporter and she doesn’t know what will happen to them later in life, because she has accepted autism as a part of her life and is ready to live with it. Very often mothers feel lonely, emotionally trapped and even lost.
Can you relate to this situation? Have you felt these emotions? Or are you maybe still experiencing them? But how can the situation be improved? How can your love and hope be nurtured while your sadness and despair are left behind?
Indeed, Autism is not a sunshine and requires lots of effort from parents and much more from mothers. Mothers take the most care of their children, they understand their kids on a much deeper level and they feel their pain in a more profound way. And this is completely understandable! A mother brings her child into this world, she brings forth new life and feels responsible for it.
That is why the mother is usually the first to feel guilty and to start blaming herself if the child shows any abnormalities: “What did I do wrong during my pregnancy?” “What did I eat or drink that was not allowed?” Very often this feeling of guilt resides in a mother for a long time. It is a negative emotion that has a devastating impact on her and her relationships with relatives, and can hold her back from moving forward and being proactive.
However, if a mother can get her guilt under control and instead uses her energy to find a solution, she can achieve truly great results! There is so much information available nowadays! There are so many tools you can apply in order to help your child to develop better and even overcome autism completely! But timing is crucial and when a child is young, lots of things can be reversed in their young and adaptable body and brain. So, there is no time to lose! However, a mother needs to be ready to implement changes that may affect the whole family and that may even cause some additional discomfort over a short period of time. She needs to have an open mind and be absolutely determined to try new approaches. Therefore, A CHILD’S RECOVERY FROM AUTISM STARTS IN THE MIND OF HIS MOTHER!
Interestingly, the mother herself will change and personally develop over the course of this process, becoming stronger, more knowledgeable and increasingly self-confident. The faster this process of transition from a place of sadness and guilt to a state of a proactivity and being ready to fight against a clear enemy called “Autism” happens inside the mother’s head, the sooner the process of recovery will start to happen. There are so many positive examples of positive mind shifts in mothers producing remarkable results in children. You can see my interviews with such mothers here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbmuTewWz-A&t=4s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5htlCfwoeZI&t=1s
Therefore, A MOTHER’S PROACTIVITY, A WISH TO LEARN AND CHANGE AND GET OUT OF HER COMFORT ZONE ARE CRUCIAL PRECONDITIONS FOR THE RECOVERY OF HER CHILD FROM AUTISM! It will also have a positive affect on relationships in the family and the overall health of everyone around! Doesn’t this sound great? But how do you start, how do you begin this journey of shifting the mind? When you are tired and overwhelmed, when you are not getting enough sleep and do not have the energy to cope with your own basic daily needs, the last thing you want is to stretch yourself even further.
However, your unconditional love for your child and your hope that he will get better should give you an extra energy boost to start with. You also need somebody who will share your feelings and frustrations, who will help you to navigate your emotions and encourage your proactivity. You need to find somebody who will share your passion for fighting autism and support you in this journey. It could be your husband, partner, a friend, another parent or a coach. The local “Parents-professionals” groups can be very helpful in this situation. We have just started a group like this in Lausanne, Switzerland. You can find out more about the group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1822681451283202/
You need to get to the point where you see the first positive results, the initial improvements in your child. It could be a better night’s sleep or less aggressive behaviour, less anxiety or better focusing. It could also be something very small but VERY important to you! For example, your child may be spending less time on the toilet because the process has become less painful as his constipation has disappeared. This is your personal victory! This is a direct result of your efforts and it means a lot for you and your child. At this point you become self-motivated and often unstoppable.
Beginning by working with a professional who will give you total support, may be a life saver. This is because he can provide you with a whole “mind resetting” platform for developing your positivity, troubleshooting and energy focusing. Notice that I am not talking about medical professionals. Unfortunately, doctors of medicine, unless they are functional medicine practitioners, will not provide you with any support or help in this process. I am talking about holistic practitioners who address whole body issues and understand how healing processes and recovery progress in the human body.
In my professional experience, by introducing, for instance, a nutritional program for a child with autism, the mother not only changes her way of shopping, of analysing different products at the market and of learning about toxins in the food and environment, she also changes her way of processing information, she learns to leave her comfort zone on a regular basis and accumulates small positive changes which in turn amount to a big breakthrough. When following an individual nutritional program for her child, the mother herself goes through a whole educational process on how our body is connected to our brain, why our brain may not process certain information, what is needed to unblock it and how food and certain micronutrients can be more powerful than any medication. Basically, this program is about understanding our own body and understanding how this knowledge can heal our mind, our body and reverse autism in our children. This is a life style changing process that helps you to reconnect with your children, your partner and reaffirm your real life values. It is a truly holistic way of improving your life!
Of course, nutrition is not the only approach you can, and should, try, but it is a fundamental one. Once the biochemical balance in the body is restored and the healing process has started, many other therapies can accelerate the process of recovery. At the moment we are trying to unite local professionals who work with children with autism to achieve an effective network. This will allow parents to save valuable time in finding an appropriate form of therapy quickly and efficiently. I would be very happy to hear from you about any professionals who you think should, or would be interested in joining this network in Switzerland and Europe.
I hope I have managed to convince you that if you are an exhausted and anxious mother of a child with autism and want, but do not know how, to help your child, you should start by changing your perception of what is possible and what is not. Everything is possible! Autism recovery is possible and it starts in the mind!
Please, contact me to discuss, agree or disagree. I look forward to receiving your ever valuable questions, comments and feedback: irina@liveright.eu
PS. On the photograph for this blog you see Nutritionist Susan Levin, who has achieved remarkable results in improving autism in her son Ben by applying Body Ecology Diet.
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